Boy, do I feel silly. I left a trail of Tweets about how I was going into the freeze dried fruit business. Hey, I’ve done lots of things over the years, and managed to make a lot of money along the way. Nothing was going to keep me away from my latest brainstorm.
So, I loaded my van up down by the river six or eight times with boxes of ‘cots and prunes, after having five humongous freezers delivered to my home — it’s a 900 square foot condo on the ground floor. Man, I had all those box freezers all up to maximum temperature by the time I rolled in at midnight.
Well, I was up ‘till about 3 a.m. working on all those prunes and apricots…pitting, cleaning…pitting…cle…OK, it was a lot of work and I kept all of my social media friends updated on my progress.
Well, for some reason, being a city boy and all, I didn’t get the memo or part about what the “freeze” was in “freeze dried,” or anything about the whole darn process.
Needless to say, the next morning, when I proudly opened up my first freezer to check on my newly “freeze dried fruit,” I was stricken with one big stomach ache — I was looking at a 350-pound chunk of frozen prunes. Man, I thought a damn alien hopped in my freezer and expired or something.
And that wasn’t the only problem. You see, I had contacted hundreds of outlets like Big Lots and grammar and high schools and even the warden who ran our unfenced prison across town to tell them how I could bring them the best darn freeze-dried fruit they’d ever come across.
OMG! You don’t want to have a power outage when you’ve got a half ton of fruit all froze up in freezers encircling yours and three other condos. Whew. It was a veritable river of apricot and prune juice flowing through our nice campus — the dogs and cats loved it, but the owners told me they were up all night with their pets just keeping them comfortable…if you know what I mean.
OK, so this was one of those “hyperboles” to make a point about where to go if you need to stock up on inventory surplus items like Frozen Concentrate Orange Juice (FCOJ…is not a NASDAQ symbol to chase), and excess inventories that are sure to make your purchasing department.